August 05, 2007
The Passion of the Cruise
In what can only be described as a perfect storm of narcissism, bad judgement, and a complete lack of public perception, TomKat is looking to do a Beckham W magazine-ish spread. Um...........yuck. That's an entree of yuck, served on a bed of yuck, garnished with yuck, and finished with some fresh ground yuck.
David Beckham is insanely hot and if you like busty blowup dolls who say major way too often, then Posh is probably appealing to you. I'm afraid Tom is the
bipolar polar opposite of David. Katie, I have to say, is really stepping it up lately. I think she could be sexy in a magazine spread by herself, but I can't imagine those two desperately trying to outdo the Beckhams. Maybe they could appear on the cover of Eww magazine, as in eww gross.
Just a thought.
David Beckham is insanely hot and if you like busty blowup dolls who say major way too often, then Posh is probably appealing to you. I'm afraid Tom is the
Just a thought.
This is painted with gouache on paper. A print can be purchased here.
October 26, 2007
Trick or Treat or TomKat
Halloween as far as I'm concerned is the highest and most important of the holidays. How can you not have fun getting dressed up? How? Put on a wig or a crazy outfit and you've got instant fun. It always works for me. I imagine it would work for TomKat as well.
I've taken them down to their skivvies and every day leading up toHalloween, I'll put them in a different costumes.
Here they are before:
I've taken them down to their skivvies and every day leading up toHalloween, I'll put them in a different costumes.
Here they are before:
For this first round of costumes, I'm dressing them up as the disastrous duoAmy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil. I had to Google his name as I usually just call him Why Amy, Why?.
Katie's costume comes complete with a pitted out pink shirt, filthy jeans, a pack of cigarettes, and an indescribable quality that just makes you want to say ick.
Tom's outfit comes with unimaginably dirty slippers, a Xenu tattoo over his heart, jean shorts, a blacked out tooth, and a gravity defying beehive.
What's next? Tune in tomorrow and the next several days to find out.
Tom's outfit comes with unimaginably dirty slippers, a Xenu tattoo over his heart, jean shorts, a blacked out tooth, and a gravity defying beehive.
What's next? Tune in tomorrow and the next several days to find out.
You decide...................... Round Three.
Here goes round three of Who Wore It Best between the lovely Katie Holmes and her little lover Tommy. Katie dazzles in this Project Runway-esque create a Battlestar Galactica inspired evening gown in six hours with a $50 budget from Mood design challenge. Tommy also shines in the child's size version.
Hmmmmmmmmm....... who wore it best?
If you'd like to see the previous rounds, click here and here.
Hmmmmmmmmm....... who wore it best?
If you'd like to see the previous rounds, click here and here.
December 20, 2007
Happy Holidays from Mr and Mrs Cruise.
I enjoyed dressing TomKat up for Halloween, here and here, so I decided to have some extra-extraterrestrial Xmas fun with the lovely pair. I imagine Tom would opt for the skimpy low cut top without trousers look as to not hinder his movement. Katie would be dressed sensibly in the full traditional Santa Claus costume so as to not upstage Tommy. I think not out shining Tom is in the contract.
Happy Holidays everyone from Tom, Katie, baby Suri, and of course Xenu.
Happy Holidays everyone from Tom, Katie, baby Suri, and of course Xenu.
October 30, 2007
Trick or Treat or TomKat part four
For my fourth and final round of Halloween fun with TomKat, I am dressing them up in a science fiction theme.
Katie is wearing a loose fitting floor length robe, extraterrestrial antennae, and blue-green skin and hair.
Tom dazzles as Jane Fonda in Barbarella. His costumes includes a ray gun, a stunning futuristic stripperish ensemble, about the greatest hair ever, and a certain quality that says I'm sexy and dangerous.
No matter where they go or what they do, I hope they have a lot of fun Halloween. I'd also like to thank them for giving me so much fun the past few days. Thanks TomKat.
Katie is wearing a loose fitting floor length robe, extraterrestrial antennae, and blue-green skin and hair.
Tom dazzles as Jane Fonda in Barbarella. His costumes includes a ray gun, a stunning futuristic stripperish ensemble, about the greatest hair ever, and a certain quality that says I'm sexy and dangerous.
No matter where they go or what they do, I hope they have a lot of fun Halloween. I'd also like to thank them for giving me so much fun the past few days. Thanks TomKat.
October 28, 2007
Trick or Treat or TomKat part three
In round three of Halloween costume fun with Tomkat, I am dressing them up as superheroes.
Katie is dressed as Brody Jenner as Robin. Her costume consists of the usual superhero garb: tights, mask, and a cape. The important feature of Brody'sRobin is a substantial bulge. Who knew?
Tom is dressed as Wonder Woman. His costume contains no bulge.
Katie is dressed as Brody Jenner as Robin. Her costume consists of the usual superhero garb: tights, mask, and a cape. The important feature of Brody'sRobin is a substantial bulge. Who knew?
Tom is dressed as Wonder Woman. His costume contains no bulge.
October 27, 2007
Trick or Treat or TomKat part two
For the second session of Halloween costume options for TomKat, I am dressing them up as two fashion risk taking ladies.
Katie is dressing up as Mary Kate Olsen. A Mary Kate costume would come complete with long stringy blond hair, elfish-old lady clothes, and somedaring accessories.
Tom is going as our girl Britney Spears. A Brit costume has a few rules that should be followed:
1. No underwear.
2. Wear something that shows you're not wearing underwear.
3. Any wig of your choice as long as it's under $10.
4. Wear those boots.
5. Try to get your exposed ass and face in the same photo.
Have fun TomKat.
Katie is dressing up as Mary Kate Olsen. A Mary Kate costume would come complete with long stringy blond hair, elfish-old lady clothes, and somedaring accessories.
Tom is going as our girl Britney Spears. A Brit costume has a few rules that should be followed:
1. No underwear.
2. Wear something that shows you're not wearing underwear.
3. Any wig of your choice as long as it's under $10.
4. Wear those boots.
5. Try to get your exposed ass and face in the same photo.
Have fun TomKat.
October 26, 2007
Trick or Treat or TomKat
Halloween as far as I'm concerned is the highest and most important of the holidays. How can you not have fun getting dressed up? How? Put on a wig or a crazy outfit and you've got instant fun. It always works for me. I imagine it would work for TomKat as well.
I've taken them down to their skivvies and every day leading up toHalloween, I'll put them in a different costumes.
Here they are before:
I've taken them down to their skivvies and every day leading up toHalloween, I'll put them in a different costumes.
Here they are before:
For this first round of costumes, I'm dressing them up as the disastrous duoAmy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil. I had to Google his name as I usually just call him Why Amy, Why?.
Katie's costume comes complete with a pitted out pink shirt, filthy jeans, a pack of cigarettes, and an indescribable quality that just makes you want to say ick.
Tom's outfit comes with unimaginably dirty slippers, a Xenu tattoo over his heart, jean shorts, a blacked out tooth, and a gravity defying beehive.
What's next? Tune in tomorrow and the next several days to find out.
Tom's outfit comes with unimaginably dirty slippers, a Xenu tattoo over his heart, jean shorts, a blacked out tooth, and a gravity defying beehive.
What's next? Tune in tomorrow and the next several days to find out.
February 20, 2007
Tom's New Look
Here Tom is trying out a look which certainly will be appealing to Mr Beckham when he arrives in LA. I think Tom looks good here. What do you think?
January 16, 2007
Day Dreaming of David
David Beckham is hot, hot, hot. Being that I live in Los Angeles, I'd like to extend a special invitation to him that he is more than welcome to stay with me while he house hunts. Posh can even stay here too, but she isn't allowed to sleep in the bed with us.
I saw David in a recent interview saying that he and Tom chat often on the phone and that they had just had an hour long phone conversation about LA. I imagine that Mr Cruise has a bit of a school girl crush on Mr Beckham. During their conversation I imagine that Tom was doodling David's name with hearts around it on an issue of Star Magazine that just happened to be opened to a spred about the TomKat wedding. Katie's face has been scribbled over and a roughly torn out photo of Beckham's face replaces it. Tom probably laughed really loudly and nervously at unfunny things Davidsaid while tracing a heart with his right fingertip around David's face. Tommost likely bragged about how he bangs the shit out of Katie and how Katieloves his HUGE penis and then asked about how Posh likes it.
After the call, and I am only guessing, I imagine Tom spends a bit of "alone" time thinking about David and their time together when he gets to LA.
I saw David in a recent interview saying that he and Tom chat often on the phone and that they had just had an hour long phone conversation about LA. I imagine that Mr Cruise has a bit of a school girl crush on Mr Beckham. During their conversation I imagine that Tom was doodling David's name with hearts around it on an issue of Star Magazine that just happened to be opened to a spred about the TomKat wedding. Katie's face has been scribbled over and a roughly torn out photo of Beckham's face replaces it. Tom probably laughed really loudly and nervously at unfunny things Davidsaid while tracing a heart with his right fingertip around David's face. Tommost likely bragged about how he bangs the shit out of Katie and how Katieloves his HUGE penis and then asked about how Posh likes it.
After the call, and I am only guessing, I imagine Tom spends a bit of "alone" time thinking about David and their time together when he gets to LA.
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