THE SCION'S VERY OWN JABBA THE HUT TRIES TO REMAIN RELEVANT

Kirstie Alley Hates AbilifyScientologists don't believe in anti-depressants, because when they want to get happy, they fuck themselves in the butt with an e-meter can while humming the theme to Close Encounters of a Third Kind. So it's not exactly surprising that Kirstie Alley is throwing ten balls of hate at the anti-depressant Abilify for using cartoons in their commercials. The Jabba the Hutt of Scientology spent yesterday...

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INTERESTING TOMMY GIRL TIDBIT

Bronson Pinchot On Tommy Girl (And Others)Bronson Pinchot (aka Balki from Perfect Strangers) must have been sipping on the finest wine cooler and toking on some serious shit during his interview with The Onion's A.V. Club, because he was feeling mighty comfortable. There was no leash on Bronson's mouth.You just want to curl up besides him with your bong, and let him whisper about how Bette Midler was such a cunt to her director...

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TRAVOLTA CHANNELING THE POWER OF XENU (MING THE MERCILESS SURELY, ED?) AND MORE WEEKEND SCION MADNESS

You've goatee be kidding! John Travolta reveals bizarre mini beard and full head of hair at boutique openingWatch out Flash Gordon: John Travolta showed off his Ming The Merciless goatee at a boutique launch in New YorkAnd why not, for it provided the perfect accompaniment to the luxurious slicked back locks he was suddenly sporting.John was looking as dapper as ever in a silky purple suit jacket and black trousers, though he lost a few style points...

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